Our family of origin is at the core of our being. It is the source of the majority of all of our beliefs, behaviors, interests, traditions, culture, attitudes, childhood and adolescent experiences, traumas, praise, our sense of self, our attachment to others, our approach to life. However much it damaged us or enriched us, it was a key component in our development of self. We have our family to blame or to thank.
The family is a system. Each member is interconnected to the other and affected by the other both positively and negatively. Think of a mobile, when one piece moves, all the pieces move. The system survives by obtaining and maintaining equilibrium; it must have balance. Each member knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, adapts to accommodate this. Anything or anyone, that knocks it off balance will naturally be blamed and rejected. Typically, there is one member who seems to take on this role in the family. Then the rest of the members adapt in order to re-acquire balance again. Family problems manifest in each member differently.
Many of us need to recover from the damage and trauma brought on by our family of origin. Although, this can be very painful, it is extremely liberating. Working on family issues increases understanding and empathy and facilitates acceptance so that relationships can heal.